What’s that noise? Oh, it’s nothing. Because you’re finally alone in the comfort of your own home and nobody is around to disturb you. Listen to the quiet, turn on some soothing tunes, and let Ray Charles sing you to sleep.
What you might have thought was quality time with the family was actually just a series of conversations about your future, and how you’re not living up to your full potential/using your degree/making meaningful relationships/etc. It’s over, and you can go back to ignoring those scary conversations in favor of discussing who you should call to order in.
We’re born into our families, but we get to choose our friends. Make the most of it, and hang out with the people that you made the conscious effort to include in your lives. It also means you don’t have to listen to Grandma’s offensive commentary anymore. Why do the elderly get so racist as they age?!
There are always awesome sports games on during the holiday season – you’ve got your football, your basketball, your ice hockey, and maybe even some soccer. But you always feel guilty sprawling out on the couch with the game when you’re supposed to be helping in the kitchen or playing with your baby nephew. Now that those obligations are gone, catch up on ESPN, see everything you missed and do the research needed to make those crucial adjustments to your fantasy teams.
If you left home, you also left behind your favorite furry friend who will be beside himself to see you upon your return. Bask in the frantic kisses and yips as you greet the only constant in your life that doesn’t judge you for your – admittedly questionable – life choices.
Yes, this is kind of in the vein of those yucky New Year’s resolution things, but if you’re a gym goer normally, this is the time to work off those 10 pounds of Christmas ham you ate on your own, followed by a tin or two of cookies. Plus the copious amounts of booze you consumed on New Year’s Eve, before making out with your ex from high school. Get back in the gym and pretend those bad decisions you made last week never happened. You’ll feel better for it.
One of the best parts of New Year’s resolutions is competing to see how quickly you can break them. I myself pledged I would stop cursing in front of my young cousins. That was right before they walked into the room during my rage-filled rant (filled with unmentionables) against the referees in the New Year’s Day football games. Oops.
Maybe you’re one of those weird people with willpower and self control, and you have every intention of actually keeping your New Year’s resolutions. Enjoy the feeling of superiority over others who broke theirs on day one, and make yourself a better person. The world needs some of that.
I don’t know, I feel like this is always a thing people tell you to do to take your mind off things. Maybe there’s some restorative power in the Spanish language that we English speakers have been missing out on all these years. Who knows? It’s worth a shot, at least.
So you’re Jewish/Muslim/agnostic/whatever and graciously agreed to take on everyone else’s shifts so your coworkers could go home for the holidays that you don’t care about. But now you’ve got favors to spare, and it’s time for you to take a little time off for yourself.
Cha-ching! You’ve finally got some extra dough to play around with, and there’s no reason to let it sit burning a hole in your pocket! Plan that awesome vacation, buy yourself a new suit, or eat at that restaurant you’ve been dying to try for months. You worked hard – treat yo’self.
The best part of the giving season is that you often end up as the lucky recipient of some of those gifts. Yes, your Aunt Colleen gave you yet another hand-knit sweater that only has one armhole, but you also got a new Keurig coffee machine and an Xbox One, complete with the duck hunter video game.
For northern hemisphere dwellers, embrace those winter activities – skiing, sledding, snowball fights, ice skating, and curling up in front of a fire with a mug of hot cocoa. For those in the south, it’s summer! Head to the beach, get some sun, work on your tan, go for a hike, and finally learn how to sail. Seasons are a wonderful thing, so make the most of them.
Sex is actually a really great distraction from a bad mood, and you know you weren’t getting any with 25 of your extended family members around. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or still playing the field, dig out that Marvin Gaye playlist and have a good time.
When all else fails, get drunk. Plus, your local pub missed you. It’s important to spend time with the drinks you love in the New Year.
