Be active in meeting other women in tech. Women organizations or networking events have become a constant source of fresh perspectives, strong friendships, and fun memories.
Find a woman mentor. In my experience, it’s relatively easy to find experienced men who can give advice about personal growth or career choices. However, women can give a different perspective, like experiences as women in tech, advice about running into sexism, women in tech resources, or advice on work-life balance (including motherhood).
Don’t feel pressured to fit the stereotypical mold. Chances are, you’ll feel compelled to change parts of your lifestyle at some point: wardrobe, hobbies, conversational topics, and how you spend your spare time. The tech industry is only part of your life. If you have to change yourself just to fit in, it’s not worth it.
Learn to be confident and assertive, but always keep an open mind. I can capture attention when I speak with conviction. However, I am respected when I listen to others and take their feedback into consideration.
People can be immature. This goes for both men and women. Never have my knowledge and skills been scrutinized simply because I’m a woman until now. It’s exhausting to constantly think about proving myself in a setting that keeps pushing me down.
Detach yourself from this environment as soon as possible. Work with people who value you for your knowledge, skills, and perspective. Surround yourself with people who care and want to help you grow.
There’s a book published in the late 1980s which talks about this subject in the broader sense of all jobs where women are working alongside men: “Games Mother Never Taught You” by Betty Lehan Harragan (Amazon.com).
It’s dated, because part of the premise is that the old-guard white male senior managers at the time had all either served in World War II or in Vietnam, and the military is NOT a meritocracy. Women go into the workforce thinking that doing a good job will be rewarded. They don’t understand that sometimes, allowing others to fail, not doing their work for them, and making it clear that you have boundaries and will not cover their asses, is the way to get ahead. Also, announcing your own accomplishments. Making sure that the upper brass
Also, announcing your own accomplishments. Making sure that the upper brass know that something was your idea, and not being bashful or “demure” or “humble” about it — these are some of the games mother didn’t teach us, at least in 1989. A lot of the things in this book are relevant now because, face it, things haven’t changed that much. While there are more middle-level women managers there are still few females at the head table.
I worked in HRIS (Human Resources Information Systems) for about 15 years. Large companies are required to file complex reports beyond the basic racial and sexual distribution of their workforce. They also have to show the government overseers reports on the distribution of applicants, and also, internal “movement” – such as promotions/demotions/lateral transfers.
I worked writing the code which produced a lot of these custom reports for large public companies. The results are just plain discouraging and sad. In particular, black males, Hispanic males, and all females are discriminated against in promotions, over and over again.
Keeping this in mind, each man and woman has an opportunity to rise to the level he/she is comfortable with. For example, I was paid more, and was much happier, as an “individual contributor” (and even more as a contractor — which is a great option for women — be your own boss) than as a manager or project manager. Men whose technical skills are not wonderful or who feel it is a ladder to power will always take those management jobs, and good for them! I like being responsible for my own work product and not 30 other peoples’.
Technical skills are the key to high pay without the stress of managing people, who vary greatly in their skill and ability to do their assigned job. Honing your technical skills so that you are in big demand, was my personal route to financial success and job happiness. I think a lot of women shy away from honing their technical skills, thinking there will always be a 25-year-old male who can do it as well as you can, for less. This simply is not true. Our frontal lobes don’t mature completely until age 25. It takes many years, and a variety of assignments, to be able to solve any problem which comes along.
So:
Don’t be afraid of younger, techie-looking males. They don’t have any real advantage over you.
Get yourself assigned to the hardest technical assignments, and then stay late testing and getting it right.
Make sure others know of your accomplishments – it’s not bragging, it’s informing.
Only go for management jobs if you really want to – technical jobs/leads make more money, and it’s less stressful dealing with machines than with people!
This question, “What do women in tech wish they knew early on?” originally appeared on Quora, the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
