Borrowing one of the pivotal lines from Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back,” Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” released over a decade later in 2014, offers a remixed ode to big butts that absolutely nobody asked for. The track centers around one line: “My Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.”
Repetitive, vulgar, and with a beat that gets stuck in your head despite your best efforts to avoid it, the Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps,” released in 2005, is just straight trash. Uncreative lyrics rely on repeating “my hump” 33 times (yes, I counted), and referencing Fergie’s milk and will.i.am’s cocoa puff mixing up to make “milky riiiiiight.”
An anthem for love at first sight, “Call Me Maybe” shot Carly Rae Jepsen onto the scene – mainly after a YouTube video of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez dancing to it went viral. The song was somehow the best-selling single worldwide in 2012, which should really just make us all ashamed. It also led guys everywhere to try to cheese their way into a date with the line, “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe.”
LMFAO isn’t fooling anybody when they say they work out. “Sexy and I Know It” is a narcissist’s dream song, seeing how the group talks up how everybody stops and stares at them while you walk down the street. But the true crux of LMFAO’s work of art comes near the end, with the masterful lyrics, “Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah.” Let that one ruminate a while.
Baauer’s “Harlem Shake” makes this list if only for the insufferable internet trend of viral videos it set off. People soon forgot what the real Harlem Shake dance looked like, which was actually seriously cool. This song encouraged jumping around in stupid costumes and calling it a day. The song also has maybe two different lines, which consist of “Ey shake,” and, “Do the Harlem Shake.” Oh, and, “Con los terroristas,” for whatever reason.
In a similar camp as “Harlem Shake” for its dance moves, Souja Boy Tell’Em’s 2007 debut single “Crank Dat” may have been nominated for a Grammy Award, but should be ashamed for lines such as, “Then super man that [explicit].” Basically, anytime you hear the telling “Youuuuuuuuu!” come on at the club, just sit down and wait it out. It’s better than bumping around with all the wannabe rap stars who think they’re thugs for being able to do a quick two-step and lean-back.
In the prime example of how YouTube stardom can go terribly, terribly wrong, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” has over 72 million views – in which 80 percent of rankings gave it a “dislike.” The notoriously auto-tuned song gets it wrong on so many levels, from lyrics like, “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, Today is Friday, Friday,” followed by, “Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes after…wards, to Black’s questionable vocal ability. Then there’s the truly painful music video which makes this song’s inclusion on the list a no-brainer.
The lead single on his debut album, Justin Bieber’s “Baby” gave 12-year-old girls everywhere a reason to catch Bieber Fever. But nobody, I repeat, absolutely nobody else, should ever have a reason to listen to this song. Basically, Justin’s whining about the girl that broke his heart – but that might have been because you thought singing “Baby, baby, baby oooh” would make her swoon. Collaborating on this song may also constitute Ludacris’ greatest mistake in his career. And this is the guy who also did “My Chick Bad” with Nicki Minaj.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually have a lot of time for Ke$ha — see, some people listen to Ke$ha with their ears, I listen to Ke$ha with my heart. However, her debut single, “Tik Tok,” is most definitely not her best work. Plus, I was told by my housemates that I had to include this one. But I guess when you brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack, you’re just setting yourself up for failure.
Hoobastank’s “The Reason” barely makes the cut-off for this list, released back in 2004, but it most definitely deserves its ranking. Basically, Hoobastank is talking about what a bad person they were before, who definitely screwed somebody over time and time again, but now is claiming they’ve changed. We’ve heard it all before, Hooba. I don’t care that you found a “reason to start over new, and the reason is you,” – save it, boys.
