A man who has sex appeal that registers high up on the Richter scale. Literally, he’s dripping sex with his size 23 jeans and cardigan that falls below his kneecaps. “I hope Cameron comes to my party tonight, he’s quite the Juicer.”
A boy/a man, but moreso a man who would like to remain a boy; a general term for a dude. Let’s start applying what we’ve learned and mix-and-match: “Hey Feather, (she changed her name from ‘Heather’ when she moved to Williamsburg) what you think of that Cronkite Cameron? He’s a Juicer?”
A girl/a woman, but she’d like to be considered the Emily Dickinson of Greenpoint (she has a WordPress blog); a general term for girl. “Hey Cameron, how did last night go with Feather, she was a fun Tassel?”
The most recent, fresh, trending and in thing to do is the “Deck” thing. Cutting edge and scorchingly new — in hipster time, that’s about 30 minutes, until half of Portland is wearing it. “That Cronkite Laurent (he changed his name from Larry when he moved to The Mission) lent me the new Margaret Atwood, such a Deck book!”
Beer. It comes from watching Charles Bronson movies while drinking beer, a very Deck past time. Acceptable Bronsons: Pabst Blue Ribbon, Schlitz, Sierra Nevada — that’s if you’re carrying lots of “Kale” (read on), Dos Equis, anything in a tall boy can.
While hipsters enjoy eliminating body fat and eating strictly organic vegan (except they scarf down cheeseburgers after six Bronsons), this term actually applies to money, which with West Brooklyn trust funds means that hipsters always have a Kale salad in their fridges. “Hey Feather, slide me some Kale, will you? I know it’s not Deck, but I’m broke”.
A gay hipster, a male gay hipster. Preferably, a male gay hipster who purchases Prada or Diesel and wears it ironically. “That Maxwell over there is wearing such a Deck Prada jacket, he must have so much Kale!”
To dance! When your Juicer friend’s band Intoxicated Golden Chimpanzees is headlining at the Bowery for this week’s Deck group Pouting Chuck Taylor, have enough Bronsons so that you feel cool Busting a Moby!
“Man that Tassel Feather isn’t into my Juicerdom anymore. She gave me such the Frigidaire, it’s like she had eight bottles of Bronson in her.” The cold shoulder! Even hipsters can be petulant.
