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10 Technological ‘Innovations’ Nobody Asked For

10 Technological ‘Innovations’ Nobody Asked For

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Technology is great, but sometimes innovators go a little bit overboard. These gadgets and new technologies are somewhat amusing, but seriously unnecessary when it comes down to it – in fact, a few of them feel more like a step backwards rather than forwards when it comes to societal progress. There’s market demand, and then there’s just these.

Sources: Independent.co.uk, MensXP.com, EliteDaily.com, CanadianBusiness.com, Complex.com, Amazon.co.uk, Gizmag.com

BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
BelfastTelegraph.co.uk

Fleshlight Launchpad

Did you ever want to be able to have sex with your iPad? No? Well, if that was always a secret dream of yours, then you’re in luck! The Fleshlight Launchpad is a flashlight-shaped toy that plugs into the back of your iPad so as to “fully immerse” yourself in whatever you’re watching. Sound gross and unnecessary? That’s probably because it is.

AdWeek.com
AdWeek.com

TweetPee

Sniffing your baby’s bottom, or just waiting for them to cry and tell you they’re wet, is now obsolete. Enter Huggies’ TweetPee app – just clip in the bird-shaped humidity sensor to your kid’s diaper and wait for the alert on your phone to tell you they’ve just tinkled on themselves.

UberGizmo.com
UberGizmo.com

Porsche Go-Kart

Because kids who have their own go-karts aren’t already obnoxious enough, now they need to get the Porsche model. It’s not so much new technology as it is complete foolishness.

YtimG.com
YtimG.com

BliQ Light

A glowing orb that you can control with a smartphone app. No, the orb doesn’t actually provide enough light to read by, and it’s not nearly cool enough for a rave. It’s just an orb that glows. But now you don’t have to get up to turn it on. Sweet.

SquareSpace.com
SquareSpace.com

Brookstone iTOi Video Chat Booth

We’ve all become used to video chatting where you’re not actually looking into the other person’s eyes. Maybe it’s not ideal, but it’s not exactly something I would say is worth changing, but that’s why I don’t work at Brookstone. Enter the iTOi Video Chat Booth that uses an inordinate number of mirrors to solve this “problem.” Also, it can make your iPad into a teleprompter, for all of those crucial teleprompter moments you find yourself in throughout the course of a day.

Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Vita Activity Decision Maker

It’s a magic eight ball that costs more money and is still entirely worthless. Ask it a question, and it’ll give you an answer, which has absolutely nothing to do with the question at hand. Good luck with this one.

CTADigital.com
CTADigital.com

Digital iPotty

Because our kids aren’t already tech-immersed enough, why not give them an iPad to play with while they’re on the potty? I’m sure that will make the whole process run smoother…and cleaner.

MacRumors.com
MacRumors.com

HAPIfork

Because keeping a food journal is so last year, why not have your fork do it for you? The HAPIfork helps monitor and track your eating habits, and will start bugging you if you start to eat too fast. You can then upload it via USB or Bluetooth, because how fun is that?

BitRebels.com
BitRebels.com

Air-Conditioned Shoes

For when those shoes just get too hot, Hydro-Tech’s Cool Breeze shoes have you covered! Filter technology keeps those suckers cool and dry, so you can rest comfortably in your sneaks. Or, you know, you could just take your shoes off.

Commons.Wikimedia.org
Commons.Wikimedia.org

Google Glass

Really, you just look like a tool. Take off the damn “Glass” and live your life like a normal human being.