I’m assuming you’re a dog-lover. If this is not the case, you might want to move along. And don’t call me – we won’t get along. Not only are dogs cute, fluffy, and an endless source of entertainment, they’re also great companions. But beyond that, dogs indulge in some types of behavior that everyone should be jealous of, if you stop and think about it. Here are 10 things dogs do that we wish we could do, whether we admit it or not.
We all know that soul-crushing moment when you drop that delicious sandwich you’ve just spent half an hour building, or that cronut you waited in line for an entire morning. Dogs have no problem scarfing down things that have been on the ground – in fact, they prefer it that way – leaving us jealous as they chow down our fallen snacks.
Sunny patch of grass? Done. Cozy corner of the couch? Absolutely. Your lap as you’re trying to get some work done? You know it. The world is nothing but a massive opportunity for napping spots, and a dog’s goal is to make use of each and every one, leaving their sleep-deprived humans toiling in despair.
This one should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. Sometimes there just isn’t a bathroom close enough, and you, human, face the inevitable burning discomfort until you’re able to reach it. Guess when was the last time a dog faced this problem? Answer: never.
Watching the world go by is a favorite pastime, but people sometimes get weirded out when you openly watch them go about their lives. Not the case with dogs – most people accept it as normal, and most (at least those with souls) will think it’s cute.
The fact that dogs can make acquaintance with just about anything and anyone that walks past is an admirable trait. No more sweating over asking for that girl’s number, or trying to work up the nerve to tell your crush that he looks good today. Just walk up, sniff, and mount. Simple as that.
Imagine eating everything that you can get your hands on (or paws, as it were). What a fantastic feeling, right? No more counting calories, or hitting the gym religiously to make up for every time you slip. Regular diets be gone, you’re now on the “see-food diet” – you see it, you eat it.
If you’ve ever actually rolled around in a pile of mud, you know that it actually feels really good. Or, for those less inclined to cover themselves head-to-toe in dirt, the feeling of rolling around on freshly laundered sheets, newly-cut grass, or the like. It feels fantastic, and if it weren’t for the judging people out there, we could indulge in that type of behavior all the time.
Sometimes you just want to take a running leap at somebody you like, and haven’t seen in a while (or, in a dog’s case, in the last five minutes). But societal expectations makes this a somewhat bizarre thing, especially when you start sticking your nose in their crotch.
Though most of us aren’t dying to lick our privates on the street, there are some types of grooming behavior it’d be great to be able to take care of without having to duck into a bathroom for privacy. Like picking something out of your teeth. Or picking your nose. Or adjusting a wedgie. Ask a dog if they have any shame when it comes to these types of things, and you’ll get a resounding, “woof.”
Seriously, when was the last time your dog chipped in for rent? Or their own food/toys/vet bills? If your answer is anything other than “never,” please share with the world how you accomplished this miraculous feat.