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Surefire Icebreakers For Your Next Awkward Silence

Surefire Icebreakers For Your Next Awkward Silence

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You’ve been having a great conversation with someone (or at least a passable one), but now the dreaded moment has come: the awkward silence. You shift uncomfortably as you both furiously flip through the conversation topics still on the table, refusing to make eye contact. What do you do with your hands? How long has it been since a word was spoken? Is it hot in here, and do you have sweat stains in your armpits? It’s a bad situation all around. But never fear! Just take this list to heart – you can also print out a copy to keep in your wallet if you’re keen – with these surefire icebreakers for your next awkward silence.

Plus.Google.com
Plus.Google.com

Make whatever song is currently playing your jam

No matter what it is, the song playing is now your jam. You can’t keep it in – you’ve got to sing along enthusiastically or, if you don’t know the words, break it down old-school style. And if it happens to be Hanson’s “MmmBop,” so much the better.

EbaumsWorld.com
EbaumsWorld.com

‘So…global warming sucks, yeah?’

It does indeed, so congratulations! You’ve just found common ground! Unless the person you’re chatting with doesn’t believe in global warming, in which case you should probably gently extricate yourself from the conversation anyway.

ConspiracyTheories.UMWBlogs.com
ConspiracyTheories.UMWBlogs.com

Conspiracy theories

Embrace the non sequitur, and blurt out your favorite conspiracy theory. Like the one about racist sharks off the coast of Egypt. Or the one about the dark side of the moon. Or really anything about 9/11. It’ll keep you busy for at least another three minutes. Score!

SunsetBend.com
SunsetBend.com

Fall down

As long as you can do it convincingly, this is a phenomenal option. You’ll both have something to do (you, to get your clumsy butt back off the ground), and then the conversation alleys are endless: “What just happened?” “Are you OK?” “How come you didn’t tell me you get vertigo on Tuesdays?”

LiveScience.com
LiveScience.com

‘Did you just fart?’

This one is key, because you get to put them on the defensive, so they’ll have to contribute to the moment. But then you can be really cool about it, and brush it off like it ain’t no thang. Because you’re chill like that.

ChinaDaily.com.cn
ChinaDaily.com.cn

Awkward Flamingo

Awkward Turtle is old news, so step it up a notch with the Awkward Flamingo. To do this properly, envision a flamingo being attacked and thrash about wildly while squawking and waving your arms. Congratulations, that awkward silence is gone for good. As is your conversation partner, because they’re pretty sure you’re a nutter, but c’est la vie.

MTV.com
MTV.com

‘Holy s***! Is that Tupac?’

It’s obviously not Tupac, but wouldn’t that be cool? Now you can chat about how neat it would be if Tupac came strolling through the bar, and about that awesome hologram they did at Coachella in 2012.

SodaHead.com
SodaHead.com

Make ‘The Face’

Courtesy of Youtube celebrity Jenna Marbles (pictured above), The Face is a go-to for a variety of situations: people trying to chat you up that you’re not interested in, a friend saying something that is unbearably stupid, or an uncomfortable awkward silence that your face is just reacting to. Regardless, it will definitely get things going again, as they’ll be pretty concerned about you.

MySafetySign.com
MySafetySign.com

‘Watch out!’

It does not matter if there’s nothing to watch for. You’ve got things moving again, adrenaline is pumping, and you can brush the nonsense off with an easy, “Oh, sorry, I thought that was a rattlesnake next to your foot. Don’t worry, it’s just a straw.” You’ve got their gratitude, since you were looking out for them, and now you can easily move on to your next topic of conversation.

TheLeafsNation.com
TheLeafsNation.com

Shots

If all else fails, add a little social lubricant to the situation. If there is no alcohol at hand, well, then, I really can’t help you.