If you don’t physically have to get yourself out of the incredibly warm and cozy cocoon of your bed to turn off your screeching alarm, there’s a 100-percent chance you’re going to hit that handy snooze button somewhere between one and 11 times before actually getting up.
You know they won’t. But that doesn’t mean that you’re going to leave 20 minutes earlier so you don’t end up sprinting down the sidewalk in an attempt to be on time for work. Besides, who doesn’t love showing up at the office covered in sweat and the coffee you just bought spilled all over your shirt?
If you bring it, it won’t rain. So you’ll have the bonus of a sunny day, on top of not getting stuck in the rain. But you won’t bring it anyway, despite those threatening clouds, and you’re about to get soaked. Also, you definitely forgot to close the windows.
Rather than putting some in a bowl, you just grab the bag before plopping down on the couch. Meaning there’s nothing to stop you from methodically making your way through the entire bag until you’re lying like a beached whale on the floor regretting it. Totally worth it though.
Great, now it’s 4 a.m. and you can’t get the images of a chimpanzee playing with a hound dog out of your head. But it was just so cute! Remind yourself of that when you feel like a zombie in the morning.
Why do we not leave it in there? Because you know you’re not going to run out and grab it once you’re already wet. Meaning you’ll just have to rock the yeti-style legs and underarms for one more day, until you forget your razor again next time.
You proactively put that chicken out to thaw so you could have a balanced and nutritious dinner later that day, but totally forgot and picked up a pizza on the way home. Meaning you’re either about to do second dinner, or you’re left with a globby mess of defrosted meat on the counter the next day.
Hey, you had to run almost two blocks for it! And dodging around that trash can added another couple of precious meters. That’s almost the same thing as heading to the gym for some cardio and lifting, right? Sure, just keep telling yourself that and grab another bag of potato chips.
The after-work drinks almost never result in just one beer. Prepare to be at the bar well into the evening, and spend a good portion of what you just earned that day. Not to mention all of your lofty plans for a workout, good dinner, and early night just went out the window. Just stop thinking about it and grab another round.
You know you will. And so will I.
