Sometimes it’s a necessary to get creative so your kids will do what you need them to. And while there are the classics – don’t make that face, or it will freeze that way – sometimes it’s more fun to get a bit more creative. So if you’re looking for a fresh idea to get those kids to fall in line, read on for some unorthodox little white lies!
Cover your mouth when you cough/sneeze, or your brain will fall out
Germs are passed between kids and we all wish they’d be a bit more careful with the sniffles. Try to get them to protect that precious brain matter by covering up when a cough or sneeze is coming, and everyone will be happier.
Don’t pee where you’re not supposed to or…
Pee will come out of the shower head. The pool water around you will turn red. You’ll get rained on by somebody else’s pee. The options here are endless – have some fun!
If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll grow hair on your chest
Or for boys who want to be big and hairy like dad, tell them they’ll never be able to grow facial hair. The vegetable war is as old as time, but scaring them into eating them isn’t a bad idea.
Superman gets hit with Kryptonite every time you refuse to go to sleep
Make them responsible for the pain and suffering of one of the world’s most beloved superheroes, and they’ll listen up right quick. Alternatively, for non-Superman fans, let them know that their actions can also impact the likes of Cinderella, Buzz Lightyear, or all of the Teletubbies.
The tooth fairy can’t visit kids who don’t get their shots
The tooth fairy is a delicate creature, and she can’t be around those disease-ridden kids. While shots are a pain (literally), they’ll mean a lifetime of reimbursement for those hard-lost teeth. Temporary pain and discomfort for cash money? Sounds like a good deal to me!
Kids who wear diapers aren’t allowed in Disney World
Potty training is a hard sell. Why would a kid want to learn to use the toilet when they have a permanent toilet strapped to their butts 24/7? Therefore, create the incentive so they’ll want to learn. Just remember to distract them from all the other diaper-wearers when you actually do get to Disney World.
When you don’t say thank you, an ice cream cone is dropped somewhere else in the world
Manners are key, but saying “thank you” should have a bigger effect than just being polite. Similar to the Superman ploy, make them responsible for the destruction of something well-loved, and they’ll always remember their p’s and q’s.
If you swallow your gum, your internal organs will stick together
Or alternatively, if you swallow watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow inside your stomach. This was also propagated by a Rugrats episode, but doesn’t really serve the same purpose – who cares if your kid swallows watermelon seeds?
If you suck your thumb, it will turn into a celery stalk
Nobody likes celery, no matter the age. So to stop the thumb sucking, warn kids of the danger of having your favorite hand-popsicle converted into the world’s most loathed vegetable. And remind them that it’s the kind of celery without peanut butter and raisins. Because that kind is alright.
We can’t get a puppy because Santa is allergic to dogs
When in doubt, blame Santa.