Fofao
Brazilian character Fofao was a magical alien from Fofaolandia who had his own show about frolicking around Earth. But while his intentions are harmless, he looks like a science experiment gone seriously wrong. Just…just look at him. There are no more words.
Wile E. Coyote
He’s that lovable coyote that keeps getting outsmarted by the witty Road Runner and can never seem to get things right. But when you peel off the layer of cuteness, think of what is actually going on. Wile E. is trying to kill his fellow toon. To eat him. I’d think twice about going near anybody or anything that keeps trying to push a boulder off a cliff onto my head.
Sylvester the Cat
Similar to Wile E., Sylvester the Cat seems like a funny guy. Or cat, as it were. But he has similarly malicious intentions, as the adorable Tweety Bird is permanently in his crosshairs. I get it – the eternal struggle of cat v. bird is just a part of the circle of life. But do we really need to glorify the killing of our friends in cartoons?
Hexxus
Hexxus is brilliant – he’s an evil oil sludge villain that serves as a allegory for the destruction of the environment. But he’s also downright scary, and his rendition of Toxic Rain haunts me in my dreams.
Wizbit
Wizbit is not a wizard. He’s not even human. He’s a magical talking wizard’s hat that manages to have the most disturbing voice, eyes, and overall appearance of any accessory ever. Oh, and don’t forget the eyebrows. They’re haunting.
Yosemite Sam
Nobody likes a gun-happy, brain cell-deficient maniac, and that’s exactly what Yosemite Sam is. He’s a cowboy who doesn’t shy away from a fight, and usually seeks them out, shooting willy-nilly at anything that gets in his way. Nearly every other toon can be classified as an enemy, but even they know well enough to stay out of his way.
Sloth
From the Goonies, and yes, he’s not a cartoon, but still. Just look at him! We find out (plot spoiler alert!) eventually that he’s got a heart of gold, but there are agonizing minutes of terror before that happens.
Jack Skellington
He’s a skeleton and lives in a haunted town where everything is dark and scary. Technically he’s the hero, but I don’t trust a skeleton trying to pass by wearing a pin-striped suit and a bow tie. His only redeeming quality is his dog, Zero, because that boy is cute.
Sid (from “Toy Story”)
He’s the kid that you were warned to stay away from, because there was a solid bet that he’d end up in prison one day. Any little boy who mutilates his toys and tries to burn ants with a magnifying glass is one creepy dude.
Ren and Stimpy
Kids, this is what your brain looks like on drugs.
