15 Things That Shouldn’t Happen At The Gym In January

We’re all for trying to get in shape in the New Year, but resolutionists should really be required to watch a video on etiquette before swarming the gym. Here are 15 things that shouldn’t happen at the gym in January.

 

People come prepared for desert-like conditions

People are getting serious about their fitness and that apparently means coming with a five-liter jug of water, a protein drink, an electrolyte drink, an energy bar and those new little energy “chews.” Is this a gym or a snack cabinet?

Gorgeous clothes that haven’t been broken in

Maybe someone bought them pricey workout clothes for the holidays. Maybe they bought themselves pricey workout clothes to encourage themselves to go. Whatever the reason, there will be plenty of people in gorgeous, flattering, hot workout outfits. Enjoy them while you can because within a month people will go back to their dirty sweats with holes in them and shirts with pit stains.

 

Fitness selfies

#2015letsdo this #Workinonmyfitness #NewYearNewMe #STOPIT.

Lots of talk about last year’s mistakes

The person on the treadmill won’t stop talking about how they intended to work out four times a week last year but x, y or z tragedy happened and it just didn’t pan out.

Lots of talk about last year’s victories

The person on the treadmill next to you thinks that if they boast about every marathon they ran last year and their lifting stats that that will ensure they keep it up.

 

The staff is annoyed

The staff is snippy because they don’t get one moment of rest between the endless lines of people checking in/asking for directions/picking up towels. They’re annoyed and the front desk people who used to be your BFFs are suddenly rude to you.

 

The “loyal” customers are annoyed

You’re not the only one noticing all this nonsense. Everybody’s irritated.

Newbies slows down yoga

Your yoga teacher, hoping to encourage the newbies to come back, takes the class extra slow so they don’t feel intimidated. You barely get a workout.

Everyone’s talking about food

The holiday food they regret eating, the new superfood they read about, the new food nobody is supposed to touch in the New Year, etc.

 

Machines break

People have just spent a lot of time with their families. Plenty of irritating words were exchanged. They’re ready to release some aggression in a healthy way, which means the rope on the Pilates machine is broken.

People are trying “new” workouts

Even die-hard gym rats, people who always came to the gym, are determined to try something different and are holding magazines up to their faces as they try to replicate an exercise from some feature spread, holding up the line for that machine.

The paramedics are there

Inevitably somebody, eager to jog off the pumpkin pies, hits the gym too hard.

Newly engaged brides-to-be

Christmas and New Year’s Eve are two popular nights for popping the question. So you have a batch of brides-to-be, there to work on their wedding day bodies and talk about their wedding days. All day.

 

You don’t know who to make friends with

You don’t know who is really here to stay or who will get over it by February. So you don’t know who to invest time in getting to know.

 

The nudists

Then of course there are the newbies who are secretly uncomfortably with the nudity in the locker rooms and overcompensate by flashing everybody. Seriously, your shoes are on but your clothes aren’t?