No matter how hard the English winds may blow northward, they will never unhinge the emerald, rainswept beauties of Orkney, the wildness of St. Kilda, or the universally understood beauty of the Isle of Wright.
Nestled up in the little wintery crook of Nairn is an ambiguously sexed (deliberate, she claims) and inarguably amazing actress named Tilda Swinton. She has mystified and challenged international audiences for decades, with work ranging from avant-garde “Edward II” to slam-bang blockbuster “Constantine.” England may have its theatrical charm, but they would have missed Tilda.
In Scotland’s second-largest city and one of the world’s most ancient, there is the 900-year-old Edinburgh Castle. The scene of various witch burnings, royal slayings, and surprise attacks, it was deemed chalk-full of spirits by a 2001 paranormal investigation team. There’s also the Mary Kings Close, a subterranean part of the city where Black Plague victims were left to die.
A worldwide pillar of a lengthy, juicy, vibrant art festival, the E.I.F. attracts heaps of intelligent, creative, and enthusiastic lovers of various mediums every year. Their mission:
“That a world class cultural event, which brings together audiences and artists from around the world, would also generate significant cultural, social and economic benefits for Edinburgh and Scotland – is as relevant today as it was over 65 years ago.” –Edinburgh International Festival
Every August, without fail, with or without the Kingdom attached.
Haggis: minced offal (intestines) of the cow, sheep, or pig, mixed with suet (hard fat), spices, and boiled in the slaughtered animal’s stomach. Black pudding: suet, barley, spices, and blood stuffed in a protein casing. Kippers: cold smoked herring, and for breakfast. You can’t even dream up this healthy, low-cal array of flavor! Let Cameron eat his crumpets alone!
The man with the blue face (as Mel Gibson imagined him) refused allegiance to England’s King Edward I and his administrative ruling of Scotland. Exemplifying the Scottish movement for freedom, he led his ragtag band of rebels on various attacks against the occupying forces. Sure, there’s the movie, but there’s also the spirit of fierce and belligerent autonomy that Wallace engendered in his country folk. It carries on today.
The book, then the movie; they will never recede into celluloid or literary fossilization. There will always be Mark and Spud running down Prince’s Street to the tune of “Lust for Life,” the shock of the dead (crawling!) baby, the harshness of a tweaker’s life, and Sick Boy and Sean Connery’s inner dialogue. Thanks to Irvine Welsh, we have immortalized two works of art which inform each other, married with their raw Scots dialogue spelled and acted out with lyrical beauty.
“If you are for English verses , there is, on my part an end of the matter … I have not that command of the language that I have of my native tongue. In fact, I think my ideas are more barren in English than in Scottish.” (Robert Burns, Alexandra Burns Club). “Scotland’s favourite son” railed against the English language, instead espousing the Scots language for his stunning, immortalized work. He’s a part of all of our lives:
“Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?”
We do mean, of course, the high joy and raucousness which is ever-present in all Scots, and especially when the Scottish spirits carry them out. Scotch whisky, like a heavenly campfire in the heathers sliding down your throat. A Laphroaig single malt might be the best thing in your glass since Tilda. Here’s the legal definitions of what scotch whisky is by the Scottish Whisky Regulations of 2009.
No underwear required. Actually, no underwear is mandatory. No one is more confidant about this garment requirement than the Scots. Here’s a poignant and hilarious meditation in The Independent on the tradition of the kilt by Britain’s former ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray.
