Most people can’t imagine retirement — we’ve been conditioned to work our whole lives, and it seems inconceivable that we would just all of a sudden stop one day. But that day will come eventually, and there are so many blessings that come with retirement that we might not always think of. Here are ten things to look forward to when you retire, so you can start counting down the days now.
Early bird specials
You could never even fathom making it to a restaurant before 6 p.m. in your working days — you didn’t even leave the office until hours later in the first place. Prepare to feast on all of those early bird specials, and get first dibs on the buffet lines, ’cause you ain’t got nothin’ else to do but EAT these days.
SLEEP
Honestly, you’ve most likely been sleep deprived for the majority of your adult life. Now you have no excuse to not go to bed early, and can sleep in until your body tells you it’s ready to wake up. Also, naps. All of the naps ever are now yours.
Matinee discounts
Did you know that theaters usually offer half price tickets for matinee shows? That goes for movies, plays, operas, and the like. Because who is able to go to the theater at midday on a Tuesday? Retirees, that’s who.
Afternoon delight
I’m just going to put a link to Will Ferrell singing this in “Anchorman” and call it a day. You know what I’m talking about…
Reading
When was the last time you sat down and read for fun? Retirement is the time to catch up on all the books that you have wanted to read for decades, but couldn’t find the time. Alternatively, it’s the time to read the books that you’ve claimed to have read already, but in reality haven’t even cracked the cover.
Daytime television
It’s not nearly as bad as you have been led to believe — in fact, it’s quite captivating. You have the option between dramatic soap operas, life changing talk shows, and, my personal favorite, endless game shows. What more could you ask for?
Golf/shuffleboard/lawn bowling/whatever non-strenuous outdoor activity floats your boat
You’re probably not going to be upping your marathon training in your golden years (unless you are, in which case more power to you!), but that’s no reason not to stay active. Plus, it’s all really just an excuse to catch some rays and gossip under the pretext of “sport.”
Getting your Christmas shopping done early
There’s a reason your grandparents give such good presents (or, alternatively, cash —which is always much appreciated). It’s because they got to the stores before the masses stripped the shelves of anything even remotely resembling a gift, and got all the good stuff for you. No more last minute, harried trips to the mall for you!
Not wearing pants
There’s nobody there to judge you, so why would you needlessly confine yourself to pants jail? Fly free, friends.
Actually making it to the bank
Banks close before anybody anywhere gets off work. Why is that? Anyway, it no longer matters, because the day is yours! Feel free to stand in line for hours to access your own money, because that’s how you know you’d like to spend your time now.