Harry Potter fans/nerds around the world know the feeling of intense emotional pain when we – er, I mean, they – realize that they will never be a part of the wizarding world. But beyond our desire to hang out with a hippogriff or try a chocolate frog, it’s the spells that we really wish we could master. The following spells would be so incredibly clutch to have in the real world, as opposed to the ones that are meant to kill people or repel dementors – we don’t really need those ones as much. Here are 10 Harry Potter spells that we totally wish were real.
Sources: J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series
It’s the ultimate lazy man’s spell – “Accio” is the summoning charm, meaning you don’t even have to get off the couch to grab that last slice of pizza, or the remote control that you forgot across the room. Also, it lets you summon your wallet that you left at home, your car keys when you lost them in the bottomless pit of your room, your kids from daycare when you can’t be bothered to pick them up… you get the point.
Since nobody actually remembers to carry an umbrella when it’s raining, or will forget it somewhere within an hour of leaving the house, imagine how much headache we would be spared if we had the “Impervius” spell at our disposal. Making something repel outside forces, namely water, we’d be able to cast it on ourselves in the morning and show up to work without looking like a drowned cat.
It’s 4 o’clock in the morning and your roommates are still partying on like it’s 1999. Only problem is that you have an interview at 9 a.m., and are desperately trying to get some shut-eye. No problem! Just whip out a quick “Silencio” charm, and all the surrounding noise will cease, leaving you with some much-needed peace and quiet.
For the opposite situation when you don’t want people to hear what’s going on, “Muffliato”. Maybe you’ve thought ahead and used it to give your poor roommates the good night’s sleep they need, but more likely, you want to have a conversation about the antics you got up to last night without everybody on the morning train hearing. Or you want to discuss that weird thing growing on your foot without grossing out everyone in the vicinity. Whatever the case, “Muffliato” keeps nearby people from hearing conversations and noise, allowing you to carry on freely.
Seemingly one of the tamer and more mundane charms in “Harry Potter,” the “Scourgify” spell is used to clean pretty much anything you need. Yes, it’s simple, but imagine never having to do laundry, or run a vacuum, or do the dishes, ever again. If you’re anything like me, that sounds exactly what heaven is like.
The “Portus” spell kind of depends on portkeys (or an object that has been charmed to allow the person who touches it to be transported to a location of their choosing) being a real thing, but we’ve already been suspending reality for the past five slides, so why stop now? Goodbye cars, goodbye traffic, and goodbye absurd airline fees – you’re traveling in style now!
So you got drunk and accidentally confessed your love to your best friend. Or you didn’t make it to the bathroom in time and embarrassed yourself in front of your entire class. Or your mom went through your phone and found your elaborate plans for a party as soon as she left town. Whatever the case, never fear! Just a quick “Obliviate!” and their memories are wiped of all wrong doing.
For the clumsier ones among us, it’d be a handy thing to have the “Reparo” charm at our disposal to fix the things we’re constantly breaking – glasses, cars, bones, etc. Plus, think of all the money you’d save by never having to call the plumber or mechanic again!
So you’ve just packed up your house and are getting ready to load everything into the moving truck, when you remember that you aren’t actually capable of carrying a 100-pound bed frame by yourself. “Locomotor” allows you to target an object and move it around at will through the air, saving yourself the sweat and probably back injury you were headed towards.
I don’t know how many practical purposes there are for floating objects in the air, but it’d be so fun. Not everything needs to be useful, you know.