You were content sitting in bed reading for the night, but you had Facebook open and in the corner of your eye, you saw photos of people taking shots, you saw people “checking in” at bars, you saw people documenting their getting ready process and it looks so fun and…suddenly you’re texting everyone, just trying to find somewhere to go, and someone to see. When you really didn’t feel like socializing that night in the first place!
If anybody on Facebook went anywhere, you can bet you’ll see a 100 to 200-photo recreation of it in the form of an “album.” It seems that everybody is traveling except for you! So you get online and plan a trip somewhere; you buy a plane ticket, book a hotel and rent a car that you were not exactly in the financial situation to buy, book or rent.
The relationship status changes and engagement photos and bridal shower event invites wear on you sometimes. So, you take a peek at who is on Facebook chat, and suddenly, people you had about a 1 percent romantic interest in before, you have a much larger interest in. So you message them, you flirt with them, you plan a date with them and…oops…what have you gotten yourself into?
You can’t just chop up some fruit and make a fruit salad. Oh no. Because there are videos online that show you how to turn an orange peel into a little Christmas tree and how to insert a raspberry into the center of a kiwi slice into the rind of a coconut to make some sort of tropical rainbow.
You could just go with your gut that is telling you that you look great. Or, you could take some selfies of you in several different outfits, post them online, and get everyone’s opinion. And now you can’t leave the house until you get those opinions.
You never realized how much you couldn’t stand babies before but, in recent years (maybe since you joined Facebook) they really drive you crazy! You catch yourself inwardly scoring them when you see them out in public. Could it be all the newborn albums going up? Hmm…
People “like” your complaint—because it’s witty and relatable—and that encourages you to complain more. People seem to “like” you when you complain!
Over the sad story of an old dog that nobody will pick up at the rescue, or the mistreatment of pandas at the zoo, or a homeless man with no legs whom nobody gives money to.
“Why didn’t you invite me with you to that restaurant? I saw you check in there on Facebook and you know it’s right up the street from where I live.”
Between the hundreds of status updates on the newest story, you’ve pieced together what you think is the whole story.
