“No no, we swear…even though we already had literally hundreds of photos of ourselves taken by other people, these selfies just gave a whole new perspective on how we looked. And it was revolutionary. And super important.”
“It was really hard to find a good fitting, basic, white t-shirt! You’d be surprised! Only the really expensive stores had them” (Oh yeah, and like, every single thrift store for one-tenth the price).
We’re not saying one-genre music should disappear, but it sort of is. If you take a look at how music groups describe their sound you see things like “country-hip-hop” and “electric rockabilly.” Future generations might think it’s ridiculous there was ever a song or group out there that was loyal to just one genre.
One day, there won’t be a dozen passwords and confirmation emails and terms and conditions to link your social media pages. One day, you’ll just take a picture and it will be instantly blasted to everyone you know. Maybe a little holograph of it will show up in front of your friends.
Future generations will say, “So, what you’re saying is, gas was unbelievably expensive, a huge fire hazard, damaging our environment and draining our Earth of its resources. Meanwhile, electric cars were available and affordable…but people still used gasoline?”
Eventually, people will find it absurd that things like paper checks and even paper cash ever existed. Everything will be done by taking a photo, or just having money wired. In fact, credit cards might be a thing of the past too—any physical thing we have to carry to buy something could become extinct.
Here’s how people of the future will see Tinder: “So let me get this straight: there were entire movies made about people luring people to their homes on the Internet, under the guise of wanting to date, and then they’d murdering them…and yet millions of people were on an app that almost told users exactly where to find somebody?”
“So you see what we do is, we take a perfectly good, whole shirt, we cut parts of it out, and then we buy an additional clothing item called a bandeaux to wear underneath it, to cover up the parts that we cut out of the first shirt. No no…we couldn’t just wear the first shirt, un-cut up. We had to go through all this.”
A box of macaroni and cheese that makes eight bowls: $5. A tiny serving of mac ‘n cheese with one slice of smoked pancetta on top from a gastropub: $12. Yeah, that makes sense…
Yes, we pay people to yell at us, berate us, and drag us through the mud. Oh and we take pictures of it and put it on Facebook for everyone to see.
