Roommates are a blast – they’re a built-in source of conversation, and are usually able to help you out with a spare beer, T-shirt, phone charger, not to mention rent. But for those of us who can’t afford a place of our own, we may find ourselves shacking up with far too many people at once, cramming ourselves into tiny apartments and houses that are bursting at the seams. If your roommates number in the dozens, that’s the first sign. Here are 10 sure-fire ways to tell you have too many roommates.
It’s OK — cold showers mean you take less time, use less electricity, save the environment and aren’t late for work. That is, if you can actually get a shower when you need it. Chances are, all the bathrooms are occupied when you wake up half an hour late with last night’s make-up on and the smell of beer coming out of every pore of your body.
Somehow, it doesn’t matter how often everyone complains about people not doing their dishes or cleaning up after they cook – somebody has to be the perpetrator, because finding a clean pan or plate is the equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack, assuming the haystack is also encrusted with six different types of suspect old food and the needle may give you salmonella when you do eventually locate it.
You have four other people sharing your bedroom (never mind that there are only three beds in there in total), so what to do? You’ll find yourself making use of areas that you never would have otherwise thought of – laundry rooms, cars, that cupboard under the stairs, the dog house in the backyard…yeah, that was a weird night.
No matter how many labels you put on your Tupperware, somebody is going to come home drunk and hungry, meaning that awesome lasagna you made last night doesn’t stand a chance. Eat up, or store it in something that nobody would ever take a second look at, like a container for probiotic yogurt or something.
Important interview? Big meeting at the office? Meeting the girlfriend’s parents? It doesn’t matter that you went to bed at 9:30 p.m. – your roomies will roll in from the bar at the crack of dawn blasting Avicii and playing Catchphrase.
You’ll never agree and will eventually compromise on something that nobody wants to watch anyway, and will eventually just fall asleep in front of. So much for that Jeopardy rerun…
Because chances are somebody has borrowed it, or it has just been sucked into the black hole of your crazy house. If it’s the former, you have a slim chance of seeing it again. The latter, and it’s gone forever. You should just head out to the store to see about replacing it.
When you have 15 people using blow dryers, electric razors, laundry machines, and high-powered bread-makers (seriously, it’s happened) at the same time, your circuits don’t stand a chance. Luckily, you know exactly where the breaker’s located, and which switch to hit for the bathroom, living room, kitchen, etc. Basically, you’re an electrician, but without the paycheck.
Let’s be real, that’s not going to happen. With 25 people milling about, you’ll get sucked into the vortex and eventually relent. As soon as you mention your intentions of staying in, you’re promptly handed a beer and harangued for the next two hours.
Remember those days when the fridge was always full, quiet hours started before 5 a.m., and you could do your laundry without fear of your clothes being left out wet on the floor to mold? Those were the days. I wonder if Mom and Dad still have that extra bedroom…