Job hunting can be a soul-destroying process that only gets more and more depressing the longer it drags on. The more time you spend searching, the more certain you are that you will be unemployed for the rest of your life. Take a minute here to remember that you’re not alone. Let’s commiserate on the 10 most depressing moments of job hunting.
You’ve just been fired from your previous job (or laid off, or furloughed, or just quit in spectacular fashion because your boss is a jerk), and now it’s time to hit the pavement again! While you might be excited for a new opportunity, you now have no way of paying rent, buying groceries, or literally doing anything besides sitting in a corner and crying.
Is extracurricular basketball still impressive? If not, you can barely fill up the page. Also, is that font Comic Sans? Uh oh, it might be time to do some editing…
This is what it’s come to. You’re dropping off your resumé at the local strip club, and you don’t even like to dance. Also, it’s not even a nice strip club. It’s the kind that you walk in and there are just a couple creepy guys who have been there since noon.
Yep – one job, 4,000 applicants. And they all look far more impressive than you do, given they’re wearing business suits without holes in them and have briefcases, rather than a beat-up folder. Good luck on your interview, though! You’re definitely not getting this job, so no pressure!
Not that you want to be working 80-hour weeks, but honestly, you’d give anything to be slammed at work for a while rather than color-coordinating your linen closet. Again.
You’ve been passing it around for weeks on end, and can’t understand why absolutely nobody has called you back. Oh wait, that’s not your phone number. Nice one, genius.
They really didn’t want to waste time telling you how much they don’t want you, and you’ve never been rejected quite so quickly. It’s a blow to the ego, sure, but it’s also just straight impressive.
And not only are they the hiring manager, they also have a corner office, a six-figure salary, and a secretary. Not to mention health care. You could really use some health care.
You just ROCKED that interview! You had the best banter with the hiring manager, your CV was bangin’, and you gave the perfect answer to why you would be a good fit for that company. They have to hire you now, right? Sure, except they didn’t, and you’re back at square one.
Unemployment was actually kind of fun.