Job hunting can be a soul-destroying process that only gets more and more depressing the longer it drags on. The more time you spend searching, the more certain you are that you will be unemployed for the rest of your life. Take a minute here to remember that you’re not alone. Let’s commiserate on the 10 most depressing moments of job hunting.
That moment when it begins
You’ve just been fired from your previous job (or laid off, or furloughed, or just quit in spectacular fashion because your boss is a jerk), and now it’s time to hit the pavement again! While you might be excited for a new opportunity, you now have no way of paying rent, buying groceries, or literally doing anything besides sitting in a corner and crying.
That moment when you realize you haven’t updated your CV since you were 15
Is extracurricular basketball still impressive? If not, you can barely fill up the page. Also, is that font Comic Sans? Uh oh, it might be time to do some editing…
That moment when you drop off your CV at the local strip club
This is what it’s come to. You’re dropping off your resumé at the local strip club, and you don’t even like to dance. Also, it’s not even a nice strip club. It’s the kind that you walk in and there are just a couple creepy guys who have been there since noon.
That moment when you realize the 12 people you just rode up the elevator with are applying for the same job as you
Yep – one job, 4,000 applicants. And they all look far more impressive than you do, given they’re wearing business suits without holes in them and have briefcases, rather than a beat-up folder. Good luck on your interview, though! You’re definitely not getting this job, so no pressure!
That moment when your friends complain about how many hours they’re working
Not that you want to be working 80-hour weeks, but honestly, you’d give anything to be slammed at work for a while rather than color-coordinating your linen closet. Again.
That moment when you realize you put the wrong phone number on your CV
You’ve been passing it around for weeks on end, and can’t understand why absolutely nobody has called you back. Oh wait, that’s not your phone number. Nice one, genius.
That moment when the rejection email comes within 20 minutes of submitting your application
They really didn’t want to waste time telling you how much they don’t want you, and you’ve never been rejected quite so quickly. It’s a blow to the ego, sure, but it’s also just straight impressive.
That moment when you realize the person interviewing you is 15 years younger
And not only are they the hiring manager, they also have a corner office, a six-figure salary, and a secretary. Not to mention health care. You could really use some health care.
That moment when you know you TOTALLY got that job…but you didn’t
You just ROCKED that interview! You had the best banter with the hiring manager, your CV was bangin’, and you gave the perfect answer to why you would be a good fit for that company. They have to hire you now, right? Sure, except they didn’t, and you’re back at square one.
That moment you get a new job, and remember how much working sucks