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Hilarious Stories That Made the News

Hilarious Stories That Made the News

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We rely on journalists everywhere to inform us about important events across the globe. But sometimes we get distracted by less consequential events that end up on the front pages. Although they aren’t necessarily vital to our understanding of our world and current events, some of these are seriously entertaining.

Pinterest.com
Pinterest.com

“Drunken student is locked up and fined for calling police horse gay” – Metro, United Kingdom
Sam, 21, was heading home from a night out when he passed two police officers on horseback. He stopped to engage them in conversation, continually questioning the horse’s sexuality despite warnings from police officers. Sam was eventually arrested for “causing harassment, harm, or distress.” The horse was clearly the sensitive sort, but luckily justice was served.

PooterGeek.com
PooterGeek.com

“Postman beaten by lavender bush” – The Argus, U.K.
The article refers to a postman in West Sussex, England, who was having difficulty reaching a woman’s mailbox due to an overgrown lavender bush. Though the bush didn’t grow fists and attack, the woman received a letter from the post office ordering her to trim back the bush if she wanted to continue receiving her mail, leading her to head to the press office with the hard-hitting story.

Google Earth
Google Earth

“Penis-shaped Christian Science church doesn’t look that much like a penis, architect claims” – The Huffington Post, U.S.
An Illinois Christian Science Church building and its architect came under fire after aerial photos showed a distinct shape to the building. Though the architect and church officials denied any resemblance, knowledge of the human anatomy suggests differently. It’s also worth mentioning that the church is located in Dixon, Ill. Come on.

Flickr.com
Flickr.com

“Yawning almost killed man” – The Argus, U.K.
Ben, 34, was having a long day when he let loose an enormous yawn that actually dislocated his jaw. He was left unable to breathe or swallow, and had to be rushed to the hospital. Luckily, the hospital was able to reset his jaw and open his airways and all was well, but the dangers of being coffee-deprived have never seemed so real.

ThinkStockPhotos
ThinkStockPhotos

“Man stole tortoise to pay for booze” – Hartlepool Mail, U.K.
While alcoholism is most definitely a disease, the lengths to which 24-year-old Keith went for a drink seem a bit extreme. After entering a pet store, he removed a rare tortoise valued at 100 pounds from its tank and hid it under his jacket. Keith was caught on CCTV.

NewYork.CBSLocal.com
NewYork.CBSLocal.com

“NY knish factory fire leads to nationwide shortage” – ABC News, U.K.
A fire at the Gabila plant in Long Island, N.Y., severely damaged the machinery used by the company to produce one of the most popular knishes in the world. Restaurants and delis all over were hit hard by the incident, running out of their knish stock within weeks. Customers felt the pinch, and as the shortage continued with no end in sight, the plight of knish lovers everywhere hit the news stands.

WeaponsCache.com
WeaponsCache.com

“Drunk falls on face” – Falmouth Packet, U.K.
As he was being pursued by police officers, a drunk man named shouted at them, “Catch me if you can!” Directly afterwards, he tripped, fell on his face and was promptly arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. Imagine how much space would be left for other news stories if we reported every time a drunk person wiped out.

TheAwl.com
TheAwl.com

“Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar” – The Evening Herald, Ireland
Sandra was at a gay bar in Dublin, Ireland, when she ran into her ex-girlfriend, Adrienne. Seemingly, the two had broken up a year prior and did not quite have things worked out, because Sandra lost it and let fly a Smirnoff Ice bottle when Adrienne waved to a man across the room. Naturally, all were in costume, making the headline one for the ages.

Buzzfeed.com
Buzzfeed.com

“Dealer sold tea to cops” – South London Press, U.K.
Apparently, police officers thought they were about to get a big bust when they set up a sting operation with a known drug dealer. But whether the dealer was onto them or was actually trying to rip them off is unclear. Officers walked away with the makings for a nice cuppa tea instead.

ThinkStockPhotos
ThinkStockPhotos

“Kangaroo finds help at airport pharmacy” – Tampa Bay Times, U.S.
Wait, what?