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Things to Expect From Your First Job

Things to Expect From Your First Job

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The working world is tough. Not only is it hard to find a job in the first place, but once you’re in, it seems everyone else’s sole purpose is to make your life as absolutely difficult as possible. If you’re one of those just-left-the-nesters getting your first I’m-a-real-grown-up job (i.e. not lifeguarding/bartending/leading wilderness hikes) just mentally prepare yourself to be torn down, emotionally abused, and horrendously overworked for the foreseeable future. And always remember, these are the best days of your life!

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ThinkStockPhotos

Becoming best friends with the people at the coffee shop down the street
Not only are you about to begin consuming more caffeine than you ever thought possible, but you’ll also be responsible for filling the coffee orders for everybody in upper management as well. The good news is that sometimes the baristas will feel bad for you (and be terrified by the deep bags under your eyes) and throw in an extra espresso shot for free.

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ThinkStockPhotos

Working insane hours
It’s no surprise, if you’re at the bottom of the totem pole at work, you need to be the first one there and the last one to leave each day. Not because you’re trying to get paid overtime (as if they would actually pay you overtime!), but because otherwise you’ll appear as if you don’t really want it. Your boss can take three weeks off every other month to work on his/her golf game in Bermuda, but you’re crazy if you think you can leave before 11 p.m. on a Friday night, if only to make sure all the mail is sorted before the weekend. Bye-bye, social life!

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ThinkStockPhotos

Mastering the commuter game
You’re about to enter into a distinct class of half-awake zombies that robotically trek from one destination to another at the same time every day. But regardless, you’re about to get so good at it that others will marvel at your commuting skills. You know exactly what shortcuts to take to avoid the inevitable backup of parents dropping kids at school, where to stand on the subway platform to ensure closest proximity to the exit, and what blocks are notorious for hitting bikers with their doors.

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ThinkStockPhotos

Sitting through a tedious and almost entirely useless orientation
Chances are, your new coworkers don’t really have the time to take out of their day to train you (assuming there isn’t a program or position specifically designated for this). So the first day, or week, or even month of your new job is going to be so horrendously boring that you’ll question if it wouldn’t just be a better move to take that job as your way-more-successful friend’s personal assistant. Though it probably won’t get that much better, just remember that you’ll actually find your place after a while and stop feeling useless – most likely because you’ll start to be buried under a mountain of work that you have no hope of ever finishing.

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ThinkStockPhotos

Learning, forgetting, and having to re-learn passcodes/logins/etc.
Since most companies won’t let you change all of the codes to your birthday (which you’ve probably been using for your Facebook/email/pin code for years), it’s going to be difficult to learn a whole new set of letters and numbers to get you into cyberspace. So prepare to befriend the IT guy who will continually have to help you reset all of your passwords, or just will change everything to welcome123 because it’s not like anything is private on the company server in the first place…

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ThinkStockPhotos

Making a laughable paycheck
It should go without saying that regardless of how hard you work in your first job, your paycheck won’t even come close to reflecting that. You’ll be underpaid and overworked, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Health care? That’s a joke. Your own place? Not unless you consider a box on the corner a spacious one bedroom. If you have the luxury, live with some friends to share the costs and misery. If you don’t, say hi to mom and dad’s basement (or alternatively, that creepy Craigslist find).

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ThinkStockPhotos

Finding a new hatred for authority figures that overshadows anything you felt for your parents growing up
You never thought that your angsty rebellious years would catch up to you once again, but any kind of unfairness you felt your parents heaped upon you pales in comparison to what your boss will do. You’ll receive no recognition for your work, completely unreasonable workloads and timelines, and won’t get the luxury of slamming the door to your room in protest (as if you have your own room at the office! Hello, cubicle living!).

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ThinkStockPhotos

Spending too much money on office-appropriate clothes
What little of your paycheck is left after rent/food/transportation costs/necessary happy hours to complain with your friends about life will go directly into your wardrobe. Given that this is your first job, it’s unlikely that you have the right style staples you’ll need. Shockingly, most 20-somethings don’t have a closetful of blazers and slacks, so you’ll have to buy, beg, borrow, or steal enough to blend in the office setting without making it completely obvious you only own one suit.

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ThinkStockPhotos

Learning to toe the line of the company manual
The 45-page document that you were given during orientation is chock full of dos and don’ts, but it takes some time to figure out what is actually enforced. That’s not to say you should start hoarding office supplies in your apartment (you really can never have enough staplers and Post-Its), but it might be OK to start up an office romance if you feel so inclined. Or to take an extra 10 minutes at lunch once a month to actually eat somewhere other than your desk.

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ThinkStockPhotos

Developing lasting friendships with coworkers in the same boat
This is the fun part – as miserable as your first year at a new job might be, it is almost guaranteed that there’ll be a handful of others in the same situation who will immediately become your war buddies. You can all relate to the same bull that goes around the office, and can discuss it at length at the much needed happy-hour wrap sessions after work. There’s no need to feel bad that you can’t afford a pricey dinner around them, because they know exactly what you earn and they can’t afford it either. Make sure you keep in touch with these guys – they’re going to be your friends for life.