You like to cuddle, but only for two minutes at a time and on your own terms.
Cuddling is all well and good, but you want it to be exactly right or you lash out. People learn which way you like to be held, or they face the ultimate punishment. CAT

You will literally make yourself sick by eating everything that’s within reach.
We’ve all had those days where you just can’t seem to stop yourself from eating everything in sight, but you have them more than others. Doesn’t matter if it’s actually good, belongs to you, or is well expired, it’s going into your stomach. You’ll lie around like a beached whale for hours afterwards, but you know it will happen again tomorrow regardless. DOG

You try to curl up in the absolute least comfortable, most precarious locations possible.
On top of your computer, over the back of the couch, or on a windowsill (assuming you have bay windows), you’ll lie anywhere that’s not actually your bed. For reasons unknown, you prefer to do your lounging in locations that were meant for other activities, like eating, preparing food, doing work, or showering. CAT

You act out when your friends/family go somewhere fun without you by destroying their things.
Some kind of uncontrollable rage takes over when your loved ones leave you behind, even if it was just to go to work on a day you had off. You’ll exact your revenge in a variety of ways that don’t make sense, even to you. Eating all of their food, wrecking their closets, or collecting all of the remote controls and hiding them behind the couch, you don’t even know what you’re doing until it’s done. DOG

You’re pretty sure the laser beam on the wall is trying to kill you.
If you happen to be a double agent or have been recently embroiled in a political scandal, there may in fact be a high-powered weapon trained on you that is actively trying to kill you. Otherwise, it’s just your friends messing with you. Either way, you can’t seem to stop yourself from chasing it around until it stops or you’re too exhausted to go on. CAT

Every time you meet up with friends, you act like it’s been ages since you saw them (even if it was yesterday – or they just went to the bathroom).
You are occasionally accused of dependency issues, but you really just don’t like to be left alone. Plus, you love your friends! Why would they ever want to leave you? You know you can have conversations while you’re in a stall, right? DOG

No matter how many easy routes there are to your destination, you will take the one that involves the most climbing, especially if it is over people.
Maybe it’s the danger gene in you, or you just like to create challenges out of mundane tasks throughout the day. Either way, you are a Parkour Master and will always make even the simplest moves look complex as you execute jumps and scale walls with agility and grace. CAT

You’ll always find the most inconvenient place to take a nap.
You like to be a part of the action, even if you’re too tired to contribute. Therefore, you find locations to plop down and catch some z’s while everyone is moving around you – regardless of the fact that this may be in the middle of a busy kitchen or on the furniture that people are trying to rearrage. DOG

You clean yourself religiously, but in bizarrely unclean ways.
Cleanliness is next to godliness, but nobody quite understands your cleaning rituals. Maybe you use products that have a “distinct” smell, or you actually prefer licking yourself clean instead of using a loofah, but either way, your beauty tricks are definitely not found in magazines. CAT

When you find something gross or displeasing to others, you try your best to get as much of it on yourself as possible.
Your sense of smell is perhaps a bit more refined than others, so they don’t understand why you want to use that patchouli fragrance everyday. But no matter how revolted everyone around you is, you’ll persist and slather on as much as possible before, after, and during every shower. DOG