The technological advances the world has seen over the years are truly amazing – from medical breakthroughs to changing the way we communicate to exploring the universe. But sometimes new technology comes about that nobody asked for, such as the explosion of apps for smartphones. For every life-changing app you download, 500 others wait to suck up your time and provide no utility to the world. However, they’re fun. So behold, 10 smartphone apps you didn’t realize you couldn’t live without…until now!
Melon Meter
It’s hard to pick out a good watermelon in the grocery store. Luckily there’s an app for that! Just hold your phone next to the melon and knock – the microphones will pick up the sound and let you know if you’re holding a winner or a dry and sour loser. There is absolutely no guarantee of accuracy, but there is a guarantee of being judged by everybody else in the store.
Gym Shamer
Why bother hiring a personal trainer when you can just have your phone berate you into working out instead? The Gym Shamer does just that, because if you fail to check into your gym on FourSquare, it will commence dispensing “embarassing, degrading, and insulting” comments on your social media outlets. Meaning it will let all your friends know that you didn’t make it off the couch more than once that week.
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
It’s a lightsaber app, complete with wooshing and cracking noises – how can you go wrong?
Honey It’s Me!
This one is seriously weird app. It lets you download a digital girlfriend, Mina, who will send you messages throughout the day (in Korean). Four daily video calls come in from your digi-sweetie-pie just to check in with you to see how things are going. She’ll wish you good night, give you the heads up when it’s breakfast time, and make you remember just how lonely your life is.
iFart Mobile
It’s exactly what it sounds like, and totally critical for your life.
Hold On
You hold onto a button to see how long you can keep it up. Seriously, that’s the whole thing. It’s incredibly rewarding, in that I-can’t-believe-I-just-spend-10-minutes-pressing-a-button-on-my-phone-oh-wait-it’s-a-touch-screen-why-am-I-doing-this kind of way, making you truly re-evaluate your life priorities.
Annoy-a-Teen
Teenagers were put on Earth to annoy the rest of the population, so why not get the chance to get back at them? Download the Annoy-a-Teen app and you’ll be able to emit a high-frequency noise that only people under a certain age can hear, and find incredibly annoying. Use it to get those hooligans off your front stoop, or just to bug your kids when they won’t do the dishes.
iSword
Since most people don’t feel like ripping their throats open by attempting to swallow a sword in real life, live out your fantasies through this sword-swallowing app! In an Operation-style game, guide the sword down the man’s throat without damaging any internal organs. It’s a much lower-stakes way to give it a shot, believe me.
Ordain Thyself
I don’t know about you, but I continually find myself in situations where I need a pseudo-clergy member. Luckily Ordain Thyself came about, where you can set yourself up as a nun, priest, rabbi, imam, or swami! Not that there are any legitimate credentials attached to it, but it’s fun to see what you look like in the traditional garb!
Demotivational Pics+
Just to make your day a little bit better (or worse), check out Demotivational Pics+ to see motivational messages gone horribly awry. They won’t impart any life wisdom, but they might make you crack a smile to make it easier to get through the rest of the day!